Other team: Slashes Matt Cooke
Ref: Lol, no.
Other team: High sticks Matt Cooke
Ref: Lol, no
Other team: Takes off skate and tries to stab Matt Cooke
Ref: Lol, no. It's just Matt Cooke.
Matt Cooke: Breathes
Ref: 2 MINUTES!
Shanahan: WE WILL REVIEW THE PLAY
Internet: OMG, MATT COOKE IS THE DIRTIEST PLAYER IN THE NHL SUSPEND HIM 5EVER
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